I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
