soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
