the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
smell my finger.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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