you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
