hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
