i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Randomize