i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
