When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
