everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
