My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
