so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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