What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
