I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
