I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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