this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
