what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
