Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm lost and stupid without you.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
