Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
