So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
