In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
