I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
