I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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