She said her name was "party"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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