Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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