i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
