She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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