I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
