Will you blow on my dice?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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