So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
