I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My breasts were aching with rage.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
