Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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