i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
