Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
