What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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