I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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