Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
