So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
