i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
