I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
