Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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