if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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