if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
