I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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