I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
