I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
