drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
