so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
