Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize