One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
