Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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